In just a year, I’ve gone from zero debt to being buried under a mountain of medical bills. I’m 23, working as a bartender, had my own health insurance, then everything changed. I got pregnant, and my baby was born early after an emergency C-section and a two-week hospital stay.
Insurance covered some, but not all, of my hospital costs. Our baby spent nine hard months in the NICU across two hospitals before passing away. We worked when we could, but priorities were with our child. Now the bills keep coming, and Medicaid somehow wasn’t applied to our son’s charges. The debt is overwhelming—probably over $100,000. It’s all in collections, and I haven’t been able to keep up. Lost my job, lost my insurance, and have needed mental health support too.
Honestly, I just want to grieve, but the weight of this debt is always there. If anyone has advice on how to handle this, please share. I don’t know where to start.
I used to work as a debt collector. First off, I’m so sorry for your loss. No words can ease that pain, but know you’re not alone.
As for the bills, your health insurance should have an “annual out-of-pocket max.” Bring all your bills to the hospital’s billing office and ask if they can waive or forgive the rest of the balance after insurance pays. Many hospitals have programs for cases like this, especially when a child has passed away. Hang in there.
@Dale
Thank you. Losing my son in March has been unbearable. You’re right; the hospital missed adding our insurance info to some bills, but I just didn’t have it in me to follow up, and now it’s all in collections. I take the blame for that.
@Miller
It’s completely understandable that you lost track of bills. Definitely go to the hospital and ask if they can forgive the balance. You’d be surprised at what they might be able to do.
@Dale
I went through something similar when I had kidney failure. They told me not to worry, and after filling out some paperwork, all my bills were forgiven. So there’s hope.
If your baby spent over 30 days in the NICU, Medicaid should have kicked in automatically. This happened with my twins, who were in the NICU for 4 months. Each baby’s bills were huge, but Medicaid covered everything. The NICU’s social worker helped me, so it might be worth asking if they can still help, even though it’s been some time.
I don’t have much advice, but my heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. You’re incredibly strong, and I hope someone here has advice that helps. You’ve been through a lot, and I truly believe things can get better for you.
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re dealing with. You might want to consult a bankruptcy lawyer. That debt is huge, and a professional could really guide you through this.
Lin said:
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re dealing with. You might want to consult a bankruptcy lawyer. That debt is huge, and a professional could really guide you through this.
So sorry for your loss. Try speaking with the hospital billing department to see if they’d be willing to forgive the balance not covered by insurance. You could also look into bankruptcy—it’s there for situations just like this. No one would blame you for it.
I’m truly sorry to hear what you’re going through…
Our granddaughter has a rare condition, and we know her time could be short, so we get it.
If the hospital forgives the debt, be aware there might be tax consequences for the forgiven amount. You’ll want to check with someone knowledgeable about this.
So sorry for your loss. Look for legal aid in your area—you likely qualify, and a pro bono lawyer could help you. Here’s what I’d suggest:
First, open all your mail, even if it’s overwhelming. For any bill that should’ve gone to insurance, send the provider a letter with your insurance details and explain the situation. Ask if they’d consider waiving any balance after insurance.
If you’re billed for anything outside what your insurance should’ve covered, that could be illegal balance billing. If you have a lawyer, they might help with this too.
You might also want to think about Chapter 7 Bankruptcy to clear out medical debt. A lawyer can guide you if this is the best move.
This is heartbreaking. This is exactly why bankruptcy exists, for situations like this. When my brother went through bankruptcy for medical reasons, the judge said they wanted to help people facing overwhelming situations. Reach out to a lawyer and share your story—they can help you move forward.
Have you checked if the hospital offers financial help? I applied for it recently and got 75% of my bill forgiven. Many non-profits have charity care, and they’re required to help in cases like yours. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.