Is there ever gonna be a financial second chance for someone like me?

Discussion
1

I’ll keep it brief. I met this girl on a dating app in college around 2020. I was a pretty sheltered kid and socially awkward, so I was just happy someone showed interest in me. Looking back, I can see how manipulative she was, but at the time, I just thought she cared. When I tried to break things off, she’d threaten to harm herself, and I felt too guilty to leave.

Things got worse, and I ended up failing out of college. I couldn’t bring myself to face my family, so I rented a place near school. She moved in too, saying her home life was awful. Soon, I was juggling two service jobs to support us both because she kept quitting hers. Eventually, we couldn’t keep up and got evicted. We ended up living in my car, and she even got pregnant.

To survive, I did delivery jobs, but things spiraled. She racked up debt under my name, and now my credit’s destroyed. I moved back home, trying to fix my life, but the weight of everything is crushing. With no decent credit, I don’t know how to rebuild. Is there any way out of this mess?

2

First off, it’s good you’re ready to make changes, but own up to your choices too. It’s easy to blame your ex, but some of this falls on you.

Second, how much debt are we talking? What’s your job situation and income right now?

Third, you’re not stuck forever. In the U.S., most credit issues clear up after 7 years. It’ll be tough, but nothing’s impossible to fix.

3

@Oakley
Yeah, you’re right; it’s on me too. Just wanted to share for anyone else in a similar spot.

Debt-wise, it’s around $5,000 to Discover, $1,000 to Capital One, $800 on Credit One, and a few hundred to AT&T. My pay depends on my job, but it’s usually between $19-$24 an hour.

4

@Haru
Alright, so roughly $7k in debt with high interest. Do you also have rent, insurance, groceries to cover?

If you’re averaging $22 an hour full-time, that’s around $45k annually. After taxes, you’d have over $30k, which should help you tackle that debt with some focus.

5

@Oakley
You can work through this, but if your ex goes after child support, it might add a whole new challenge for years.

6

@Oakley
My insurance is $145 a month, rent is $500, and groceries vary, but I usually spend $200 monthly. Plus, child support takes another $581. I work about 40-47 hours a week.

7

Look, it’s gonna take a lot of hard work, probably a good 10 years, but you’ll get there. Just being honest here, though, it seems like you ignored a lot of red flags. You might want to reflect on why you didn’t listen to those warnings.

8

To be blunt, it sounds like you keep blaming everyone else. No excuses now—you’ve gotta start taking responsibility for this.

9

Ash said:
To be blunt, it sounds like you keep blaming everyone else. No excuses now—you’ve gotta start taking responsibility for this.

Fair point. I appreciate the honesty. I probably didn’t phrase it right, but I do know it’s on me as well.

10

Debt is tough, but you can manage. Start small, pay what you can on the lowest amount first. Sounds like you’re earning enough to handle it if you’re focused.

Maybe try negotiating with the collection agencies—they might settle for less. Also, keep track of every payment to help clean up your credit. You might even get some of the negative listings removed after paying.

If you don’t have a budget, start there. Figure out what’s coming in and going out, and make a plan that’ll let you tackle your debt while keeping a stable life. Things won’t change overnight, but with patience and consistency, you can definitely turn it around.

11

Stick to paying off those debts and staying financially responsible, and you’ll get that fresh start.

12

Take charge of your situation.

13

Your kindness is great, but maybe set some boundaries.