I’ve been in a similar spot, and I understand how quickly things can get out of hand. You keep thinking you’ll get it sorted, but suddenly it’s been years and the problem feels impossible to fix. Ignore the judgmental comments. It’s hard to talk about this stuff, and it’s a tough situation. You’re not alone—this happens to a lot of people.
You might be eligible for Chapter 7 bankruptcy depending on your income and assets. The 2016-2019 debts could be wiped out. The rule is that the debt has to be at least three years old and the tax returns have to be filed for more than two years. To clear more recent debt, you’d have to file those returns and wait two years.
The most important thing is to stay in contact with the IRS. They won’t throw you in jail, but they could freeze your accounts or take other action if you ignore them.
I was lucky to find an accountant who helped me file several years’ worth of returns and let me pay over time. After filing, I was able to get on a payment plan, and the IRS has been reasonable about the amount I have to pay monthly.
If you’re getting letters about possible collections, take them seriously and call the IRS right away. I used to be terrified of calling, but they’ve been surprisingly helpful. Yes, the hold times are long, but they want to work with you. Also, look for local organizations that help people in this situation, or ask the IRS if they know of any.
Once you file everything, you can set up a payment plan. And if you end up needing to file bankruptcy later, so be it. There’s no shame in that. Mistakes happen.
You can get through this—just take that first step and keep going.
PS: There’s also something called an Offer in Compromise. It’s worth looking into on the IRS website. Depending on your situation, you might be able to settle for less than you owe. But you’ll need to be current on all filings and payments before you apply.
PPS: Some comments here are spreading bad info. Even if you’re making payments, not filing your returns could default your payment plan. You need to act quickly.