Feeling stuck in debt… does it ever get easier?

Debt Management
1

If this isn’t allowed, feel free to remove. I’m not sure if I need advice, someone to listen, or just to get this off my chest.

So here’s the situation: 2 years ago, I was in denial and made a lot of bad choices. I’m 26, living on my own, and had a remote job that turned out to be a pyramid scheme. I started with a bit of credit card debt but thought I could manage it—I used to be good with money, had savings, and always paid my bills on time. As expenses went up, I didn’t adjust my lifestyle, just kept spending as if nothing had changed. Before I knew it, the job wasn’t paying enough, and I was using credit cards to pay for everything, even rent. I had great credit, so my limits were around $10k on each card.

After 9 months, I gave in and asked my mom for help. She co-signed a loan to consolidate my debt. I was determined to pay it all off, no bankruptcy, and went from $1200 a month in payments to $780 because of her good credit. The accounts weren’t closed, though, and I ended up racking up more debt. Eventually, I realized I needed to leave my apartment and that job. I moved in with my boyfriend to split expenses, but things didn’t improve fast enough. I got into more debt, which I’m not proud of.

Fast forward a year, and I’m now looking for a part-time evening job to get more income. My total debt, including the consolidated loan, is around $65k, and monthly payments are about $1300. I’ve stopped using credit cards and changed my lifestyle completely—no eating out, minimal groceries, only driving when needed.

Our total bills are $3k a month, and I bring in $2100. My boyfriend makes about $2500, and his bills are $1800. He helps when he can, but it’s not his debt, and I hate relying on him. He’s expecting a raise soon and offered to cover the rent, which will help, but I still feel awful. He didn’t sign up for this level of mess, and I didn’t tell him how bad it was at the start. I’m 28, drowning, and don’t know if it’ll ever get better. I need more income, but until then, I’m stuck. Please tell me it gets better. I know I screwed up, and I own that. I just feel like a failure right now.

2

You’re not alone. A lot of people are dealing with the same thing. You’re lucky to have a boyfriend who’s willing to help. Think of his raise as a way to ease things up. Any extra cash you can get should go straight to paying off debt. Keep looking for a better-paying job or something on the side.

3

@Logan
Thank you, this really helps.

4

You need to cut back more and stop depending on others to cover for you.

5

Yan said:
You need to cut back more and stop depending on others to cover for you.

I hear you. We’ve already cut back to the bare minimum. Groceries are $100 a month, we don’t qualify for food stamps, and we only spend on bills and gas. No extras, no subscriptions. I’m in a bad place mentally because despite applying everywhere, I haven’t landed a second job yet.

6

Things will improve, especially if you stop using credit cards completely. Try finding credit counseling services. I used DebtWave to pay off $30k of debt. They helped lower my rates and payments, and my credit improved once I paid everything off.

7

@Axel
Thanks a lot. I have one card left that wasn’t part of the loan because it had a fixed low rate for a while. That offer ended, and I called today—they lowered my minimum payment and closed the account. You’re right, it took me 2 years to get into this, and I need to be patient with myself while paying it off.

8

Take it easy on yourself. You’re not a failure, you just made a mistake. People are helping you because they care. If they needed help, you’d do the same. I’ve learned that money issues happen to everyone, no matter how much they make. It’ll get better. Just remind yourself that you don’t want to end up in this position again.

9

@Hale
Thank you so much. You’re right—I’d help them too if they were in trouble. These times are tough, but I need to keep going.

10

Zinn said:
@Hale
Thank you so much. You’re right—I’d help them too if they were in trouble. These times are tough, but I need to keep going.

Exactly. Some people are in way worse situations with hundreds of thousands in debt. You’re not doing as bad as you think.

11

@Hale
You’re right. Thanks for putting it in perspective!

12

Admitting there’s a problem is a big step. You’re already on the right path by being honest about it.

13

Zeek said:
Admitting there’s a problem is a big step. You’re already on the right path by being honest about it.

Thanks, I really needed that!

14

Have you tried using a detailed budget? If not, I can get you a free premium subscription to EveryDollar, but only if you promise to actually use it.

15

If your boyfriend is serious about being in this for the long haul, sit down and show him the full picture. He might understand more than you think. Also, consider adjusting your tax deductions if you expect a refund. It could put more money in your pocket now, but do it carefully.

16

Honestly, you should consider filing for bankruptcy. Businesses do it all the time. You can protect the loan with your mom by continuing to pay it while clearing out everything else. Don’t spend the next 15 years drowning in debt when you can start fresh.