They may be talking about medical debt. Most places won't send money to collections if it is paid to a hospital or clinic, though this isn't always the case. Though they can always

Help, please! I’m struggling to manage my debt. I’m a teacher making $45K a year and recently received $130K from my ex’s 401K in a divorce settlement, which I plan to roll into a new retirement account. I currently owe $40K in personal loans from my divorce lawyer and moving expenses, as I had to leave an abusive relationship. The minimum payment on the loan is about 25% of my monthly take-home pay, making it hard to afford groceries and pay utility bills on time.
Should I consider using the 401K money to pay off the debt (I still have my own untouched retirement savings), or look into bankruptcy? I own a home (without equity), have a paid-off 2018 Kia, and $2K in an emergency fund. Any advice on what would be the best financial move?

Do the funds from the 401(k) go into a retirement account? It won’t be protected in BK otherwise.

Yes, indeed! It rolls right into a new retirement account for me, which is something I should have mentioned before.

Depending on whose entity the ex-spouse’s 401(k) is through, some let the recipient “open” an account under the 401(k). Usually, the ex-spouse’s date of birth is tied to it, but the account should state that it is a QDRO from a divorce.

However!

Find out if you can rollover the funds into your qualifying retirement account by contacting your 403b provider. This is entirely acceptable. You can open and roll over a 401(k) or 403b if you don’t already have one open with your institution.
Taxes are zero right now, and BK protection is 100%

Before providing legal advice, one should probably be completely certain about Chapters 7 and 13 in each state.

I promise you absolutely that retirement funds, things you own outright, and personal belongings

are not necessarily immune from filing for bankruptcy in all states
If your holdings have a sizable amount of equity or you have a sizable 401(k) account, the banks can and will fight against a full discharge.

How come you feel the need to call him abusive? Perhaps it was you that made him reach his breaking point.

Insolvency! The retirement funds will be safeguarded. With a sizeable retirement savings, you can pay off your debt and start again. It sounds like a simple decision, but you should consult with an attorney first.

I’m sorry for the man you’re robbing of his money. For males, marriage is such a losing proposition.